You might be a redneck if....

... you find a albino raccoon in the tree outside your bathroom window. Well, okay here's the story. I was fixing my hair and I caught a glimpse of something white in the mirror (the mirror reflects the window). I turned around and sure enough there was an albino raccoon in the tree outside my window. I tried getting it to make noise. Since it kind of looked like a cat I meowed a few times to see if it would answer. No answer. So Patrick and I research albino raccoons on the Internet and find out how rare they are and we are excited. Then we have to go to work and school. Debbie was here with Novii and Caitlin and she called me and told me we had to rescue this raccoon which now is suspiciously looking like a cat. Caitlin and Debbie were traumatized because the raccoon/cat wouldn't move and the bird's were pulling its hair. Anyway, when I get home I climb a ladder and touch this thing and it flies out of the tree to the ground (about 25 feet). Upon close inspection however, I did conclude that our raccoon was a cat, a weird looking cat.